LA's Intuition gives me yellow fever
I haven’t gotten an e-mail from Intuition in a while. It’s not like I was starving for clothing and accessories favored by celebrities but this message, pimping yellow, was welcome. Until I saw the caption, hovering next to secret Asian girl Vanessa Hudgens’ head, which read “Celebs Have Yellow Fever…”
You could come up with a better way to trumpet the popularity of the color yellow in the sartorial choices of these celebrities and, therefore, the country. Mellow for yellow? Hello to yellow? Maybe not as urgent, but at least they don’t imply that these celebrities are diseased or, sigh, have a fetish for Asian folks.
Update: Read DISGRASIAN™’s much funnier take on the same.
Disgrasian™ turns celebrates the first of what I am sure will be many anniversaries today.
CongratulAsians are in order, and well-deserved.
Casuallasian Dropping Hints [Disgrasian™]
Oh. My. God. I never thought I’d see this commercial, a favorite from my childhood, ever again. Thanks, YouTube!
I may have to get this engraved on some business cards and give them to folks who have random kanji tattooed on their asses:
But let’s get one thing straight. You ain’t almost Asian just cuz you know that the young folk use AZN to show their pride or cuz you spent two years in Hong Kong, most likely butchering the shit out of Cantonese and its eight muthafuzzing tones. You ain’t almost Asian cuz you said so or cuz you love rice or cuz you have a few gorgeous, smart, skinny Asian bitch friends.
“DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Less is Moe” [Disgrasian™]
Gawker got to the bottom of the HaraGossip Girl mystery — turns out they’re models. An anonymous Jezebel reader, who had (unsuccessfully) auditioned for the show had this to report:
They were actually the funniest part of the show – they had these totally bizarre three line conversations at the end of each scene. Unfortunately, for those of us who went in 19 times for every part on the show and ended up coming down to the very end for those roles, the network decided that they had to go “ethnic,” and they claimed couldn’t find any black or Asian girls who were funny, so they, at the last minute, cast models and decided to just make them sight gags. No joke.
‘Gossip Girl’ Insider Clears Up The Mystery of Black Girl And Asian Girl [Gawker]
So in tonight’s episode of “America’s Next Top Model”, Tyra reveals that the models not eliminated in tonight’s episode will travel to China to continue in the competition.
So how did she tell them? Did she say “Hey, y’all are going to China!” Fuck NO. She had lion dancers come out and dance around, two martial artists comes out with swords, and Tyra herself waved a big-ass fan around. This after a stilted fake-ass conversation with the lion, wherein the lion invites them to China via a number of poses and copious blinking. Did I mention that this week’s guest judge,
poor man’s Tim Gunn Neil Hamil of Elite Model Management, and Twiggy had to wave fuschia flags around in the air while this nonsense was going on? And yes, if you listened in the background, there were gongs. GONGS! I half-expected Tyra to give everybody chopsticks and challenge them to style their hair with them. But maybe that’s the next challenge?
I’m trying to remember if ANTM has pulled this kinda shit before. Oh right — contestants in Cycle 4 had an assignment at a Los Angeles animal park where they posed like animals, right before learning they were going to South Africa to complete the season. I mean, ignorance is nothing new on television, especially in reality television, but COME ON, people. If I wanted ethnicity to be painted as broadly and as badly as this, I’d just ride It’s A Small World and be done with it.
Excuse me, I need to go eat some Kentucky Fried Panda now.
While Maxim has released a list of the five un-sexiest women in the world, Entertainment Weekly is publishing their 25 hottest women ever. Both lists, when examined, seem to agree that any hint of ethnicity (except from a few Latinas) is not sexy. Via the always-excellent Jezebel:
In fact, of EW’s twenty-five “Ultimate Hotties,” the only ethnic ones are Latina: Half-Bolivian Raquel Welch, Mexican Salma Hayek, half-Mexican Jessica Alba, and half-Spanish Rita Hayworth. What about Rachel Weisz? Angela Bassett? Lucy Liu? Or, really, anyone who doesn’t inspire girls to ask for nose jobs, $300 highlights or eyelid-surgery for their sweet sixteens?
Maxim, Entertainment Weekly Agree: Jews, Blacks, Asians Not So “Sexy” [Jezebel]
- Haragossip Girl Watch: The ladies strike again with a brief (though no less deadly) dissection of this week’s episode of “Gossip Girl”. [Disgrasian™]
- A Case for Hipsters (of color?): Special correspondentWendi Muse muses (heh) on hipsterdom (and how it ain’t just for white folks anymore). [Racialicious]
- Be Asian for Halloween: Dude, if only being Asian could be so easy as putting on long red nails, waving a fan through the air, and pimping myself out with all manner of “Asian accents. Oh wait, when I said “Asian”, I meant “crude racist sexist Asian stereotype”. Sorry! [Angry Asian Man]
- I hepped the ladies at Disgrasian™ to a Salon story on Penn Masala, and their awesome song, “The Facebook Skit”.
- I couldn’t make myself watch A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila, which premiered on VH1 last night. I said a few days ago that she’s taken the place of Kim Jong-Il in that she is the person who makes me feel ashamed to be Asian, but I want to step back (if only I can give more thought to the question). But the real debate is: who is the Vietnamese American Gallant to Tila’s Goofus? My nominee thus far is Project Runway season 2 winner, Chloe Dao.