Tag Archives: meme?

i’m going to make new business cards with this image

FUCK YEAH THISISJASMINE

Fuck Yeah Nouns is awesome. The image shown above is perfect. The original photo dates back to August 2005, when I visited Nick and Nadine and Olivia and Mike A. and Andreas in Philadelphia. Matt I. was there, too.

About the lady:

We walked to Mike’s, slouched through the heat, laden with raw meat and marinated vegetables. On the way over, Nick was accosted by a round woman wearing a faded bathing suit. They walked for a bit, but neither Matt nor I could bring ourselves to horn in on their conversation. Nick told us later that she needed to get to a hospital so she could have a quick checkup on her pregnant belly before her dinner date that evening. Did I forget to mention that she’d already had her tubes tied?

Read the whole blog post here.

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too much fun with #FridgeFilms

I got a little carried away with the #FridgeFilms hashtag that hit Twitter this weekend. Punning just has that effect on me.

Some other titles I came up with:

You Got Snail

In The Meat Of The Night

Lawrence of Tilapia

Indiana Jones and The Last Lemonade

Requiem For A Cream

Prawn With The Wind

The King’s Peach

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Sunday Routine

scrapple at The Publican

I’m feeling inspired by the “Sunday Routine” column in The New York Times (click here for Google results – I’m not sure why this column doesn’t have its own page but whatever).

Okay, not inspired so much as envious of the people usually featured: accomplished, interesting, worldly, or merely rich. So because I’m some kind of weird undercover spinster striver (seriously — you should see me Saturday night, perpetually refreshing the Times wedding section until it updates), here is my Sunday routine. Continue reading

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Spanish Sizzle

  1. Go to http://www.ustarnovels.com/free_excerpt.asp.
  2. Click a book cover. I recommend Spanish Sizzle.
  3. Answer questions (names to fill in the blanks in the text).
  4. Click Get Free Excerpt button.
  5. Laugh your ass off.

Notes: The names I supplied are in bold. I just picked the name John because it just occurred to me. And I think it’s weird that the site starts my surname with a lower case “d”.

And now, an excerpt from Spanish Sizzle by Jasmine Davila.

“Hey!” he yelled as Jasmine grinned cheekily back at him. John’s tongue found the chocolate on his cheek as he scooped two fingers into the ice cream and daubed Jasmine’s nose liberally. Her response was to plunge her own hand into the tub and soon John had a smear of chocolate ice cream from ear to mouth. The icy smudge oozed down his neck, sending an electrifying thrill of excitement across his skin as Jasmine’s tongue swept along its creamy trail. Chocolaty hands found naked limbs and soon they were tumbling back into the carpet in a knot of chocolate-smeared passion, their tongues lapping at the sweetness of one another’s chocolaty bodies.

The shrill blare of Jasmine’s mobile phone shattered the lovers’ reverie. John’s ardour was unwavering as he attempted to stall Jasmine with a rash of kisses across her belly. Laughing at John’s playful caresses, Jasmine reached for her phone. “Leave it,” John murmured insistently, “it’s probably just Jacinda… you can call her back after I have had my wicked way with you.” Jasmine giggled with mischief but as she grabbed her phone, the display lit up with the name of her boss; Davenport. She prised John’s fingers from their impassioned clasp around her thighs and attempted to lever herself out from underneath his weight. “I’m sorry butternut, I have to take this, it’s work,” she whispered but John’s response was to silence her with a shower of soft sweet kisses. Taking a firm hold of his arms, Jasmine unravelled herself from John’s embrace and heaved herself to her feet. The phone had been ringing insistently for some seconds now and she hastily pressed on the Receive button, answering in a clipped tone, “davila. Just a moment please.” She looked down at John expectantly but he merely gazed back at her with sexy mischief and began nuzzling at her ankles. This was a conversation she needed to have in private and since John was going nowhere fast, she strode purposefully from the room, leaving John to call out after her, “Don’t go! What about dessert?” Jasmine darted a pleading look back at him as she closed the door behind her. John laid back on the thick sheepskin rug, losing his fingers in the shaggy pile and listening to the fizz and roar of the licking flames.

In the disordered disarray of the kitchen, Davenport’s smooth tones slid down the line to Jasmine.

“Congratulations Agent davila on a job well done,” he said, “You pulled off the theft of the Gaudi document like a consummate professional. Sotheby’s are in uproar!” he chuckled delightedly. “I have to say Agent davila, I’m very pleased that you chose to join MI6. Had you turned to a life of crime, I believe we would be devoting most of our manpower to trying to catch you!”

Jasmine blushed self-consciously as she fumbled for a reply but Davenport was unfazed.

“The document will be collected from you tonight and the Spanish will have faked a duplicate of it by the end of the week. Both the genuine article and the faked copy will be delivered to you no later than the 14th of February.”

Jasmine balked as she heard this new information.

“Delivered to me?” she gasped, “I’m sorry Sir, I was under the impression that my role in the mission was now complete.”

“Well there has been a slight change of plan davila,” Davenport explained.

This should be the new “25 things”.

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auntie meme: Google images

H/T to Poppy:

Age at next birthday:

Place I’d like to visit:

Place I’ve been:

Favorite food:

Place I was born:

Place I live:

Name of past pet:

Best friend’s nickname:

My first name:

A/K/A:

First job:

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Auntie Meme: Shuffleupagus

h/t to Michael

  1. Put your iTunes or MP3 player on shuffle.
  2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer

YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
Supernova [Liz Phair]

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing) [Michael Jackson]

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Black Woman [Jungle Brothers] (ed: wha?!)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Laughter [The Mighty Lemon Drops]

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Just Lust [Buzzcocks] (ed: okay, now I’m mortified)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Strike Up The Band [Tony Bennett] (ed: I love this song.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Boy Is Crying [Saint Etienne]

WHAT IS 2+2?
Young Folks [Peter Bjorn and John]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Speedoo [The Cadillacs]

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Ferment [Catherine Wheel]

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Higher Ground [Red Hot Chili Peppers]

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
The Maze [from the “Harry Potter And The Goblet of Fire” soundtrack]

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
I Don’t Want To Talk About It [Rod Stewart]

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Going On [Gnarls Barkley]

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
I Heard It Through The Grapevine (The Randy Watson Experience Sympathy For the Grapes Mix) [Gladys Knight & The Pips] (ed: no comment)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Behind The Wheel [Depeche Mode] (ed: nice)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
All Down The Line [The Rolling Stones] (ed: okay, this isn’t too bad)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
The Ballad Of El Goodo [Big Star] (ed: of course, I can’t help but think of the bridge to this song: “I’ve been built up and trusted, broke down and busted / But they’ll get theirs and we will get ours if you can / Just-a hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on”)

WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Y’a d’la joie [Charles Trenet]

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Fuck Off is Not the Only Thing You Have To Show [Cansei de Ser Sexy]

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Stop [J Dilla]

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
So Easy [Eagles Of Death Metal]

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
We Rule The School [Belle & Sebastian]

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Nobody Weird Like Me [Red Hot Chili Peppers] (ed: awesome)

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Love Will Never Do (Without You) [Janet Jackson]

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Fancy [Bobby Gentry] (ed: apparently, I’d go back in time and let my mother turn me out so I can escape the swamp and make it in the big city as a callgirl)

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Walk On By [Isaac Hayes] (ed: oh man)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Mahler Symphony No. 3: Lustig im Tempo und keck im Ausdruck [Bernard Haitink & Chicago Symphony Orchestra]

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The Omnivore's Hundred

A meme from Very Good Taste (h/t to Andrew for mentioning it at the Gapers Block happy hour/debate party Friday night):

  1. Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
  2. Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
  3. Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
  4. Optional extra: Post a comment at http://www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.

And here I go: Continue reading

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who's reading who? 75 Books

Seems like somebody’s been reading my blog!

Esquire mag has just posted “The 75 Books Every Man Should Read” mere days after I post about the “1001 List” from 1MoreChapter.com, and the current classic and contemporary reading lists at my alma mater, Brearley.

Okay, probably it’s a coincidence, and maybe not even much of one considering people like to post lists about what everybody else should do, read, watch, sniff, snort, eat, and consume. But still. I think the universe owes me this.

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mosaic meme

Seen at Rachelleb.com, presented here for your amusement.

mosaic

Want to play? Directions are below.

Type your answer to the questions into Flickr search.

  • Using only the first page, pick an image
  • Copy and paste each of the URLs in the Mosaic Maker.

The questions:

  1. What is your first name?
  2. What is your favorite food?
  3. What high school did you go to?
  4. What is your favorite color?
  5. Who is your celebrity crush?
  6. What is your favorite drink?
  7. What is your dream vacation?
  8. What is your favorite dessert?
  9. What do you want to do when you grow up?
  10. Who/ what do you love most in life?
  11. Choose one word that describes you?
  12. What is your Flickr name?

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1,001 books

1001 list from 1morechapter.com. Titles in bold are ones I have read. Titles in italics are ones I hope to read.

Meanwhile, my subscriptions to US Weekly, Entertainment Weekly, The New Yorker, and Allure are worth the money spent. Screw Jane Austen, Zadie Smith, and Charles Dickens when there’s celebrity wedding and baby news to keep up with! Continue reading

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