Tag Archives: Kevin
I stuck my head in the doorway to my boss’s office. He had just finished talking to a co-worker about college basketball.
“Um, I know it’s last minute and all, and feel free to say no, but could I take half a vacation day tomorrow? For my, um, birthday?”
“Why don’t you just take the whole day?” He seems genuinely confused as to why I wouldn’t. This is awesome.
I’ve been feeling restless lately. Maybe it’s the humidity, the arrival of summer and clouds of gnats that surprise me on the walk home from the bus stop. I begin to sweat almost as soon as I step outside and squint into the sunshine. Nights are the worst — wind is high, and I talk on the phone outside my building. Not only because my cell phone reception is bad inside my apartment, but also because I enjoy the wind blowing my skirt up past my knees.
1. big ups
Yay! My sister got into the post-bacc pre-med program at Columbia University. I think. I know she got into something. She is just that much closer to becoming a nurse. So yeah, eventually, she’ll be living the stereotype, but if it keeps me in sample-size bottles of Eucerin moisturizer, bring it!
I made it to Kathy’s birthday brunch on time. Saturday the 30th was a cold-ass day and I, like a fool, took the advice of the CTA web site which had me standing on the corner of 63rd and Wentworth in a skirt in the freezing wind waiting for the 63rd Street bus. While it is true that the CTA did not tell me to wear a skirt on such a cold day, it could have picked a faster route that didn’t involve standing at a bus stop that had no shelter to protect me from the cold.
After much sniffling and feeling pathetic, the bus came. A few minutes,
I was sitting on Kathy’s toasty radiator-cover/bench and eating my first of many slices of delicious homemade quiche. Drinking mimosas and (because it was a special occasion) coffee. Kathy and I had to team up to pop the cork out of the Champagne bottle. When it finally emerged with a satisfying ‘pop’, it bounced off the ceiling, then bounced off my head before catapulting itself into the living room. It was pretty amusing – if you werne’t me.
The supas piled in, adding more food and drink to the feast. Kevin brought bagels, cream cheese, Nova, and sable. Tony and Tasneem brought three dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Michael brought booze. Chris brought two of his rum cakes. We ate and played Taboo. The trick to Taboo is to use words and phrases that are specific to your teammates. So if you say something like ‘Kevin imbibes a lot of this’, your teammates should know that you’re talking about ‘diet soda’. Of course, it helps if you don’t say any of the forbidden words. Anyway, my team got housed.
3. “Every time that they’re near me, I just can’t get enough”
Jorge drove me and Sebastian downtown afterwards, where we all had a nice chat about what kind of boys we like. We ended up talking about White boys because well, what little I’ve kicked, it’s been with White boys. And it used to piss me off when I was a kid and some girl in my class would say “Hey, you and Toanh should totally get married!” because we were, hello, both Asian. Or, when I got older: “Hey, the Asian guy on ’21 Jump Street’ is hot! But not as hot as Johnny Depp.” So that song ‘White Boys’ from Hair (the musical) was in my head as Sebastian and I got onto the red line to our respective abodes:
White boys are so lovely
Beautiful as girls
I love to run my fingers
And toes through all their curls
And then the lyrics to ‘Black Boys’:
Black boys are delicious
Chocolate flavored love
Licorice lips like candy
Keep my cocoa handy
All I wanna know is, where is the song about ‘Yellow Boys’? Or ‘Brown Boys’? Where is my place in pop culture fetishism?
We’ll have to continue this conversation later, as I have to get through the rest of the weekend.
4. It’s Glogg Time
So I tried, but I couldn’t get Jacinda out to Simon’s with me to meet Stef and the gang. Stef was in town for Thanksgiving, and Jen Adams was visiting Kevin. Jacinda and I watched ‘Legally Blonde’ while applying copious amounts of mascara. I actually wore bright blue eyeliner and got away with it.
At the bar, I perched on a stool between Sebastian and Michael, watching in horror as a proceeded to knead the jeans-clad ass of the woman sitting next to him. At first, I thought his hand was stuck but it looked like he was putting the moves on her. And they seemed to be working – why else would she let it stay there. I had to take a picture. We all got tuckered out in one form or another so I went to Dan’s party.
Dan. Had. Scallops. Wrapped in bacon. Yippee! I headed for them first, grunting at Dan’s friends as I came through the door. Jacinda and I plopped onto the couch and watched the DVD of “Henry V” that Dan popped in as background noise. Curled up under his duvet, on the world’s most comfortable couch, Jacinda and I proceeded to talk shit about the movie while Dan’s remaining guests tried to watch it in peace. We tried to stop, we did. We tried to behave, but could not. Eventually we fell asleep. Jacinda overheard one of the guests say “Oh you turned the sound up? So that’s how you get them to quiet down!” I think he may have been referring to us.
The next time I opened my eyes, it was 1:30 Sunday afternoon and I had an impression of my bracelet in my right cheek. Jacinda was still asleep, and Dan was awake. I sat up, partially, and was rewarded with a cup of ice cold milk and a plate of funnel cakes. A perfect way to end a great weekend.
5. ‘As Seen On TV’
- ‘The Sopranos’ – my friend Matt says Paulie and Johnny Sack will get whacked at the same time
- No new episodes of ‘Angel’ until January!
- Did anyone see Whitney Houston with Diane Sawyer last night? I was disappointed that she did not play her imaginary keyboard throughout.
Weezer – Smile; Garbage – #1 Crush
12/04/02 (Wednesday): Kiehl’s Lip Balm #1
12/05/02 (Thursday): Nars lipstick in Dolce Vita (light, creamy pink –
basically, it’s a slightly pinker version of my natural lip color)
1. stuff I don’t want for Christmas
- Foolish/Unfoolish, the book of ‘poetry’ by r & b ‘singer’ Ashanti
- anything on http://www.dialcorp.com/index.cfm?page_id=123
- a merkin
2. songs for my “Ho Ho Ho” holiday mix
- Belle & Sebastian, “Lazy Line Painter Jane”
- Weezer, “Hash Pipe”
- Bobbie Gentry, “Fancy”
- Lou Reed, “Walk On The Wild Side”
- LaBelle, “Lady Marmalade”
3. songs for my stalking mix
- The Police, “Every Breath You Take”
- Olivia Newton John, “I Honestly Love You”
- Missy Elliott, “Step Off”
- The Carpenters, “Superstar”
3. “In this world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, the monkey will spank us!”
I spent last weekend in Douglas, MI, playing board games and eating with Kevin and his family. In case you didn’t know already, his family rocks. Also, I’m very good at Pictionary.
But Kevin’s family, wonderful though they are, is not what I am addressing today. The topic of today’s lesson is RPC, “Reckless Public Clowning”.
First identified by the Superfriends (who know who they are), RPC is more than just public silliness or misbehavior. If you don’t know what I mean, I present the following account of what I did Sunday.
Kevin and I left Douglas Sunday morning to meet people in Michigan City, IN for some hardcore outlet store shopping. Having never been there before, I didn’t know what to expect in terms of shops, clientele, etc. I certainly didn’t expect it to be so f**king hot, but there you go.
The first instance of public clowning occurred when we were walking out of a kitchen supply store and the offender (who I will not name, out of respect for his/her privacy) said the F-word very loudly. Several senior citizens and small children looked taken aback, or maybe it was just the sun in my eyes.
The second instance took place in the Brooks Brothers store. Kathy had purchased a *lovely* camping chair, appropriate for trips to Ravinia and such. Jorge had noted that the chair made her look like a runaway. To which Kathy replied “Well, I don’t liked to be tied down.”
At this point, the offender loudly remarked “I do”.
At that point, we all fell over, laughing hysterically.
I don’t think that anything else said that day could even come close to the RPC-ness of that comment. If any of the SuperFriends present that day would like to offer their own comments, please do.
In other flip news, I haven’t worked on bola-bola.com since the last e-mail. I’m still thinking about what it’s supposed to be. Additionally, askauntjazzy.com is at a standstill, but will be getting more content shortly.
The weather is kinda ass, but considering that I spend most of my time in a/c, I guess I can’t really complain about much, huh?
What I can complain about is the endless barrage of Trixies who insist on coming to Wicker Park on the weekends to flood the bars and restaurants with their highlights, platform sandals, and Kate Spade knockoff’s. I don’t care to give them the benefit of the doubt, I don’t trust anybody whose thighs don’t touch and that’s the end of that.
Nadine says hi. She’s in the middle of her bartending course. The head of her school looks like William Shatner. I’m so jealous. Why can’t any of my co-workers resemble has-been actors? I would love it if, for example, Jeremy really *did* look like John Stamos. I suppose that you can’t have everything, but Jeremy, if you decided to get a mullet, I’ll be your best friend forever.
Andrew has finally left for the University of Minnesota. Once I stopped crying hysterically, I organized a going-away dinner for him at Cafe Iberico. We had a good time, even though I forgot to get a table in the smoking section. The service was good, the sangria flowed like water, and we didn’t have weird billing issues like we had at Kamehachi.
Andrew took the opportunity to give us the contents of his pantry — while Kevin and Michael relieved him of his Bombay Sapphire and other luxury alcohol, I got a box of Grandma Selma’s yellow cake mix, Manischewitz brand. It has this really scary-looking old lady on the front. Andrew always gets me the coolest presents. When he vacationed in Berlin last year, he bought me a gray t-shirt which read “You are now leaving the American sector” in English, French, German, and Russian. He got me the Ford Family paper doll book for my birthday this year. He is the best, and I know that you will all agree with me. Well, those of you who know him, anyway.
My parents have not made good on their threat to come visit. I have to admit that I am a bit sad, but what would I have done with them? Taken them to work? Gone clubbing? I don’t know any other Filipino people, so they wouldn’t have had anybody compare me to. There *are* my three Filipino co-workers, but none of them speak Tagalog either, so I guess we are all lost souls.
FYI, this week’s Filipino swear word is anak ng tinapa (“son of a smoked fish”), a milder version of anak ng puta (“son of a whore”).
The hookers in my hood have taken to working in pairs, which is just so nice because you have someone to hold your shoes while you run from the cops. Maybe something about the lovely ladies of the night is starting to rub off on me, as cars will occasionally honk at me while I’m waiting at the bus stop in the morning. I’m not quite sure if I should be flattered or not, so I’ll just leave it alone.
Well, that’s it. The anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death is upon us, so I hope that you will celebrate it in a somber yet uplifting fashion. Myself, I’ll be crying over a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich. I finally got my “TCB” logo pendant. It looks great, and I can feel my lips curl into a sneer everytime I touch it.
“Alright, now you can go ahead and help yourself to that cognac if you want, but remember that Courvoisier does not grow on vines, ok?”