When your lovely pals invite you to join them for post trick-or-treating snacks “any time after 5pm” that means you should probably try to get there not at 7:30pm.
The Halloween you swear you will address any small child dressed as Elsa from Frozen, sporting long white blond hair and a light blue gown, as Daenerys Stormborn or Khaleesi or Mother of Dragons is the day you will see no children wearing that costume.
Chicken chili and a baked potato with butter and sour cream make for the perfect meal on a wet and blustery Halloween tonight.
Taking the Clark bus through Wrigleyville on Halloween night makes for good entertainment.
Who knew there were so many sexy costumes in the world?
The best costume you’ll see on the aforementioned bus ride will be a homemade blowfish (with darts!) that crinkles up easily to sit down.
When you need a taxi to take you from Belmont & Broadway to Clark between Aldine & Buckingham on a sunny Saturday afternoon, you will instead walk (which you should have done in the first place) because all the taxis are already taken.
The best clothing options for babies and children are those that, in a pinch, could be used as a Halloween costume. Snowsuits and hoodies and jackets are not worth getting unless they have animal ears and tails and matching mittens that look like paws or hooves.
“North & South” (the English one with Richard Armitage, not the American mini-series with Patrick Swayze) was as swoon-inducing as all the gifsets on Tumblr would seem to indicate, and is currently streaming on Netflix.
Sometimes eating some mini microwaveable tacos (oy), then drinking three cokes, four glasses of water, eating scrambled eggs and pulled chicken and roasted potatoes and half of an incredible breakfast sandwich on focaccia and a thin slice of cake with not a lot of walking will yield a pre-dinner blood glucose reading of 132 mg/DL, which makes you think your pancreas is just fucking with you.
You’re never too old to wear a short skirt with black opaque tights. Nobody will judge you if you decide to hike your skirt just a smidge higher.
There’s always room for another tater tot or five.
Girls who are named after flowers do like getting gifts that smell like their flower unless it’s jasmine which is just too strong sometimes and maybe try orange blossom or a powdery rose instead.
Rehashing the party you just left with pals in the car ride home takes the sting out of having to leave the party (along with the handful of tater tots you have in your purse).
Writing a sample list for the judges of the University of Chicago Scavenger Hunt in 2014 when you’ve not written once since the fall of 1998 is both easier and harder than you remember.
Not leaving your house on a beautiful Sunday is okay. Try to remember this when the first polar vortex hits in January.
It’s worth taking the extra five minutes to research which states permit Election Day voter registration before you tweet that you can totally still register to vote on-line and vote in time for Tuesday.
Watching a man walk up a high wire that is strung up dozens of stories up and at a 19 degree angle on a cool Chicago night is actually more stressful/thrilling than that evening’s episode of “The Walking Dead”.