Dear Fassie

Dear Michael Fassbender:

The Oscar nominations were announced this morning. Alas, your name was not among those listed for the category “Actor In a Leading Role”.

I’m sure you’re probably feeling okay — let’s face it, I think any nomination for Shame from the Academy was a long shot — but if you find you need to be consoled (read: make out a little bit), let me know.

Your friend,
Jasmine

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