in long respect and affection

Untitled (for you, Leo, in long respect and affection) 3, Dan Flavin

How I know I am getting old:

  1. Sometimes I forget words. I like to think that my brain is just tossing old information for all the new information I’m gathering all the time but I think we know better. Although I remember that I forgot the word “dumpster” quite a few years ago so maybe it’s not aging and just my brain thinking “You know what’s an unattractive word? Dumpster. Jasmine, let’s come up with something prettier than that.”
  2. I am contributing a chapter to a book about social media that is due out in the spring. Earlier today, I spoke to my editor/co-author Sean and I said, in all seriousness, “Well, I know the young people like to use this feature this way…” and then I had to stop, say “I can’t believe I just fucking said ‘the young people'” and then I started laughing.
  3. Every time I read or hear about somebody moaning about turning thirty in, like, two years, I just start laughing hysterically.
  4. No sympathy, y’all. I am a mean, mean lady.
  5. The first close friends of mine who had kids (hey Andrew! hey Rozi!) now have a five year old who started kindergarten this year. That’s, like, real school y’all.
  6. I have more and more white hair. Considering that my hair has been thinning/falling out, I’m grateful for what hair I’ve got left so let it turn white all it wants.
  7. I fall asleep at 10:00 while I’m still sitting up and I get up at 2:00 to find my tv and light still on, my contacts just stuck to my eyeballs. Sometimes, I’m still wearing my bra.
  8. As soon as I get home at night, the bra comes off.
  9. If the bra comes off, I am not leaving the house again.
  10. I think guys my age who are still dating seem to prefer dating women younger than me, so I end up ogling older dudes. It’s not retaliation, it’s just recalibration, y’all.
  11. The box of awful tasting calcium chews sitting on my nightstand.


Filed under personal

4 responses to “in long respect and affection

  1. Rachel

    I was just lamenting on Twitter about supervisors who are younger than me…by more than a couple years…and who are freaking out about turning thirty…in a couple years.

  2. Lisa White

    Im looking forward to turning 30! Being in my 20s and poor is fun sometimes, but I’d like to be farther along. That said, the second Im in the house, the bra is off as well, haha. I’m glad that seems to be a common thing in the girl world!

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