I’ve lost count of the number of friends and acquaintances who have had babies or are having babies this year. I’m excited for these pals if only because that’s just so many children to whom I can be a wackadoo Auntie Mame like figure who’ll teach them how to make fancy cocktails (maybe) and order meals in expensive restaurants (never order anything you could make yourself at home).
Leah reminded me of Auntie Mame last week at brunch, and we got to talking about how we may never have children of our own. I confess at first I was all “Oh you will totally have children!” because I misunderstood her statement as resignation instead of the awesome declaration that it is.
I wish one or some or all of my siblings would get on the stick and have some kidlets already. Not only because I need more practice being fun Aunt Jasmine (“Of course I’ll buy you that dirt bike your mother says you are not allowed to have!”) but also because my dear sweet mother wants grandchildren before she and my father retire to the Philippines (like they may or may not be planning). The nice thing about them going to the Philippines is that there they will be surrounded by my cousins who already have plenty of children for my parents to spoil. Naturally, this makes me jealous because I’ll be thinking “These are my parents. Go find another set of surrogate grandparents who will buy you cell phones and candy and puppies!”
Clearly, I won’t be needing a baby of my own as I’m still a baby myself. #whine
Mainly I have anxiety around turning into a spinster sort of looming over the happy families of my friends, a hybrid heir to Great Expectations’ Miss Havisham and Aunt Glady from Home For The Holidays. Never unloved, but
sometimes maybe unwelcome. #woeisme
So to prevent that from happening, I have to work to keep positive examples of aunthood on my mind and in my heart. Like the aforementioned Auntie Mame, who showered her nephew and ward Patrick with tons of love (and some amazing presents). I’m struggling to think of more cool aunts from popular culture. Aunt Clara from Bewitched? Sure! Aunt Em from The Wizard of Oz? Maybe, but she had Uncle Henry. Where are the cool maiden (shudder) aunts I should be emulating and writing all my questions about being a cool aunt to? I have two maiden aunts I could probably be bothering about this right now, but as they are 50-something Filipino devout Catholic nurses, they’d probably just tell me to go to Mass and stop asking so many questions.
Jacinda and Joe hosted a baby shower for her sister and brother-in-law yesterday at the house. Her sister, being tall and thin and lovely, makes an adorable pregnant lady. She looked like she was hiding a volleyball under her incredibly cute tunic top. She wore adorable sandals that showed off an impeccable pedicure and non-swollen ankles.
It rained for most of the day, so we were all tucked into the house instead of running around the yard, trying not to get run over by the children present or get in the way of somebody going to get themselves some food (SO MUCH FOOD) or going to use the bathroom. I mainly stayed out of the way, as the parents present went into action, cutting up hot dogs and fixing plates of fruit and pasta salad to feed the toddlers, offering bottles to the infants, and changing diapers throughout.
I think I’m pretty good with children but the only thing I could think to do with them at the shower was ask them to shake my hand or give me a high five. Which is what I do whenever I meet a new dog. When I found myself asking a mop-topped boy to give me paw, I grabbed a hot dog and headed for the side door.
Hiding with Joining me outside was Darren, a friend of Jacinda and Jalissa’s and somebody I don’t see nearly enough. We did a lot of catching up outside in the gangway, handing people beers or juice boxes whenever they’d open the side door and see us yakking away. I don’t want to make it sound like we were feeling poorly, but it just made sense to hang outside for a bit when things got a little crazy inside. And besides, we knew that as soon as we were ready to head inside for more food or conversation or to watch Jalissa and Thomas open presents, we’d be welcomed back inside to join the rest of the party.