stray thoughts: “Sweet Valley Confidential”

Love the jacket, but the lavaliere looks like shit.

I just finished reading Francine Pascal’s “Sweet Valley Confidential”. I only got it yesterday! Much like the books in the original “Sweet Valley” serieses (is that a word? I’m talking about multiple series — the high school, junior high, university, etc.), it was over before I knew it.

Which was part of the problem. I wanted this book to go on forever. So why doesn’t Francine create a new series, featuring the twins in their late 20’s as Sweet Valley Confidential” what with all the boning and the fighting and the lying and the cursing.

Yes! There is actual boning. Not so super graphic though the word “nipple” is used. Ooooooh!

Yes! There is actual cursing. People say “shit” and “fuck” in Sweet Valley almost as much as I do here. My favorite blue language? I won’t say who says it, but someone actually says “Bring out the fucking cake!”

I’m pretty sure the word “fucking” is used here to emphasize the frustration of the speaker, and not to imply that the cake is something like a paean to fucking. But if it were, wouldn’t that be something?

The sex was, um, kinda not sexy. Okay, a bit tingly. But us grown ladies would like some more details. Could Jackie Collins take a turn at writing a follow-up? I’d be into that.

There were no real surprises. Though I’m not sure that I saw ______ ending up ___, but that could just be because my ______ is way off. (That’s me trying to avoid any more spoilers.)

I know Diablo Cody is working on, or supposed to be working on, a screenplay for a “Sweet Valley” movie. Wonder if she’ll use any info here, or will the movie be about the 80’s high school version that I grew up with and love very much.

And one more thing: so many of the blog posts I’ve read about SVC were from women around my age (or much, much younger) who were all like “OMG I never did coke because Regina Morrow died after doing it in SVH because it made her heart explode!” Really? Nobody out there who actually tried it just because they were curious to see if that heart explosion story was total bullshit?



Filed under books

4 responses to “stray thoughts: “Sweet Valley Confidential”

  1. Pingback: Friday morning follow-up | This Is Jasmine

  2. Hillary

    Just caught up with the last couple posts and you are seriously cracking me up!

  3. Pingback: Review: Sweet Valley Confidential « On my bookshelf

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