“In the end, I guess I was most floored by how quickly it can all end.”

In the end, I guess I was most floored by how quickly it can all end. I know nothing lasts forever, but I thought there would be more time. Most of my friends look almost exactly the way they did in school, I still spend an inordinate amount of time playing with cards and board games.

Death and funerals…well, that’s the stuff for the grown-ups. We’re supposed to be having fun and becoming famous celebrities and going to Mets games. Avery promised me that the Mets would win another World Series in our lifetime!

But now, not.

Though, he did wait until the day the Yankees were eliminated to…

But there isn’t time…well there is, but there’s no telling how much. I wish I could say I’ve since been inspired to grab life by the horns now. Run with the bulls in Pamplona, climb Mount Everest or volunteer with blind children. But nope. If anything, I think I’ve been more struck with a sense of how futile all that effort is. I often joke about my sedentary hermit existence, but it actually is what I want to do most days. And I’ve been lucky enough that when I want to do other things like go to Patriots games or play poker that I am healthy and financially secure enough to do that too. It may not have been the someday I imagined for myself when I was 11, but it’s a today that’s good enough.

Or something.

“Like sands through the hour glass” [StephaneClare.com]


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