feast of the consumption

Friday, June 18: I took the day off to go to the funeral. I attended breakfast with the family, the wake, and then the service itself. Yes, I checked into the church on Foursquare. Cynthia and her daughter Ariel wore purple, while Jerad sported a purple tie and a natty straw fedora. I thought maybe it was because it had been her mother’s favorite color, but she said it was just because her mom was buried wearing a suit with a purple blouse, and she thought it would look nice on the family. She was right.

I didn’t go to the burial, so I got Antoinette (a former co-worker who also made it to the service) to drop me off downtown. I thought about going back to the office but my head wasn’t quite there. I tracked down Nite on Michigan Avenue, and we went to lunch so he could tell me about his latest job interview.

PLUG ALERT: My friend Nite Kongtahworn is a 3D artist and modeler. He is also awesome and my friend and isn’t that endorsement enough? You should hire him for your 3D artistry and modeling needs.

Saturday, June 19: I had this amazing facial at the Aveda Institute on Clark and Diversey and for the life of me I cannot remember the name of the student who worked on me. All I remember is that it was a tall blond guy who had a sweet voice and a charming disposition. I’m pretty sure if you call to request an appointment and give exactly that description, the reservation folks at Aveda will know you who are talking about.

I went to rehearsal for the Father’s Day WHQODJY show, which was at the old Old Town School building on Armitage. We worked on decorating the stage to look like a barbecue, staging for people who had to make special entrances, and sang. Afterwards, I went out for a hamburger with my classmate Barb, and we talked about travel (she loves Europe) and singing (the first voice class she took at Old Town was a gift from her daughter, a professional singer). I am now simply dying to return to France, and visit Spain for the first time, because of Barb’s stories.

I didn’t know what to do with the rest of my evening, which of course explains why I found myself at the movies, watching Joan Rivers: A Piece Of Work. Have you seen this movie yet? It was great.

Sunday, June 20: Father’s Day. Breakfast by myself at the Golden Nugget. Followed by a trip to the nature museum with Khloé, Jeff, and baby Coco.


look who's walking?

Went home. Showered. Got dressed. Got an ice cream. Went to the Old Town School building on Armitage and watched the 5:30 show. Manned the food tables between the 5:30 show and the 7:30 show because people went a bit crazy around the food. I came very close to stabbing some people in the hand with a colored toothpick whenever I saw them reaching for their fifth or sixth barbecue meatball.

Then I sang in the 7:30 show. Observe how I’m totally holding my lyric booklet the wrong way. It’s like Goofus (me) and Gallant (Cathy my duet partner) up there.

Jasmine Belts One Out


Elisa, Nite, and Jeff came to the show. Nite and Jeff got to wear a couple of the ties we made for the guy performers and fathers in the audience.

nite and jeff wearing paper ties

nite and jeff wearing paper ties

After the show, Elisa dropped me and Nite in our neighborhood so we could do two things: eat tacos at Chipotle and snow ice from Cloud 9. Because we are awesome eaters.

Monday, June 21: Nite and I saw I Am Love. I love melodrama, and I love Tilda Swinton, and I love Tilda Swinton in this Italian melodrama. Home girl learned to speak Russian and Italian! She wore Helmut Lang like she was born to wear it! There were hot sexy times and tragedy! It was like Damage but in Italian, which I guess would make it Danno? (Thanks, Google Translate.)

Tuesday, June 22: I went to a ChicagoNow meetup at Epic where I saw Michael L. and Lyletta and ate really tiny button-sized foods. I left them (alas) to meet Jeff at Standard India so I could eat some actual food. Also to hang out with Jeff, which is always nice too.

Friday, June 25: TASTE OF CHICAGO! I managed to catch the concert featuring Salt n’ Pepa but crowd control for the show was non-existent. Also it smelled like skunky weed and I saw bad fashion all over the place. I was literally traumatized by this lady’s leathery fake tits. By the time Cynthia and the kids turned up, I was beside myself.

Saturday, June 26: I never left my apartment. At some point, I checked my pulse to see if I was, in fact, still alive.

Run, girl, run!

Run, girl, run!

Saturday, June 27: Pride parade. Pictures here. Stray observations below:

  • Gay or straight, I think we can all agree that if you have a crazy fungus on your toenail don’t wear flip-flops to Pride.
  • Collective nouns for the gays (suggestions):
    • a mince of gays
    • a poof of gays, tangle of lesbians (Matt F.)
    • a gaggle of gays, a bevy of bears, a dollop of dykes (Hollis)
    • an Outback of lesbians (Aaron)
  • Do the stray faghags end up at the lost & found, or do they just stay lost while their gays get busy?
  • Parade itself was fun but underage binge drinking parade-goers who leave broken bottles all over my block? NOT SO MUCH.
  • I actually tweeted “Somehow this hot dog I’m about to eat just tastes more meaningful because I’m having [it] at #Pride.”

Monday, June 28: Twins turn 24. Huh. I should get them a present.

Wednesday, June 30: Olivia’s birthday. Also I join a gym.


I know, I was kind of shocked, too. But here I am again. Same gym, though it’s in a new building even closer to work than the old location. No towels, still, and you still need a quarter for the locker, but it’s cheap and air-conditioned so I can sweat in comfort.

Also to be filed under something Jasmine hasn’t done in forever: I bought groceries. Actual groceries. Okay, cold cuts and yogurt but still! It’s a start. I may use my kitchen once again in the very near future. Probably to heat up some fish sticks but it’s a (re)start.


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