1. lip sync
I was thinking that should I ever decide I should start dating, something I should do to weed out potential suitors — assuming of course that I’d have multiple suitors all courting me concurrently — is make them, on occasion, lip sync for their love lives.
Maybe I’ve been watching too many episodes of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” but I think I’d love it if two boys got up and danced and writhed and mimed and mimicked all for the love of me.
Of course, I’d pick the songs. Assuming there would be multiple instances of lip sync showdowns, I should be be prepared.
Roxy Music, “All I Want Is You”
Prince, “I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Man” (covered here by The Eels)
Aretha Franklin, “Baby I Love You”
Whenever I leave the house, it’s usually without any makeup on my face. Usually because I wake up just a smidgen on the late side so after I shower, wash my hair, and find something to wear that isn’t completely wrinkled or covered in lint, I don’t have the five minutes it takes to swipe on my eyeliner, fill in my sparse eyebrows, and put on some lipstick.
Besides, that’s what the 123 express bus is for.
I’ve become one of those awful commuters who engages in personal grooming on public transportation. I don’t pluck my nosehairs or clean my ears with my fingertip, flicking my findings all over the bus (and all over my fellow commuters), but I do apply eyeliner and eyebrown pencil. I do put on lipstick. I do sometimes curl my eyelashes.
I swear I’d knock it off if the southbound 123 wasn’t so spacious during the morning commute. I catch it at Columbus and Wacker after I hop off the 135 bus. The 135’s slog through the Loop to my stop at Adams and Wacker is too stop-and-start, too crowded, too slow for me to get to work and put my face on at the same time. Who knew my favorite beauty time saver for 2010 so far would be a freaking bus?