in the company of men

I have an update on the plan to save my own fat ass. It’s not much of an update, though. I found my geriatric raver shoes! I bought the C25K app for my iPhone. I bought new socks that are supposed to be all “moisture-wicking”. I think this means they are magical or something. I even got new “active cargo pants” so I don’t have to wear my yoga pants that always fall down whenever I wear them outside of the house.

So yeah, I feel ready. As soon as I find my sports bra.

I can’t just buy a sports bra at a regular shop. Not even at the big lady store. Unlike lots of big ladies, instead of having big tits with a comparatively small torso I have a fat back (which makes me think of bacon) and not-as-big tits. Thank goodness for the internet.

Anyway, let’s get to the fun shit.

Wednesday, April 14: Dinner with Elisa at the Duke of Perth. They haven’t had curry lamb strips on the menu for ages, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still miss them, right? The evening was on the coolish side, so we sat indoor but next to the patio doors. People sat outside, enjoying their beer in the twilight.

Thursday, April 15: Tax Day! My taxes have been done since January but in years when I have to pay tax I put off sending in that check until the last minute. I printed out my forms, stuffed them into envelopes and took them to get stamped at the post office in the basement of the Sears Willis Tower. I like using the little kiosk to get postage, as the line for counter service is pretty long. For some reason, an older gentleman was at the kiosk, operating the kiosk for another customer. I guessed he was an employee but he wasn’t wearing a badge or a uniform. He seemed offended that I could operate the machine myself.

Later that day, on the way home, I tried to check out the Alfred Caldwell Lily Pond on my way home from work. It was closed, so I walked north past the nature museum, near the pond, to enjoy the weather. Lots of couples were out. Even the birds seemed to be paired up. Boo, romance! I dodged piles of goose poop and eventually got back on the bus.

Friday, April 16: I brought French macarons from Fritz Pastry and a bottle of champagne to Fausto’s birthday party. I’d never met Fausto before. His boyfriend Marc was kind enough to invite me because he thought we should get to know each other. I think we did. Did we? I drank quite a bit of sangria. I talked “Glee” and Oprah and other things with Neil and Rick, and teabagging and bicycling with Jeff and Michael L. There was really good food and more sangria and then birthday cake. At some point, there was a serious discussion about, um, movies of an adult nature. No, we didn’t watch porn. Although we did watch a couple of videos. First this one, which I first saw over at Feast of Fun:

It was after we watched (and sang along with) this video that I knew it was time for me to go home:

The party was a lot of fun. A feast of fun (groan), in fact.

Saturday, April 17: Voice class again at Old Town. I’m still thinking of what to sing for the Father’s Day show. Suggestions? I’d like to sing this:

Or maybe even this:

But it’s really up to Gwen to help me figure it out. A classmate has already started working on this:

After class, I met my friend/former Vocal Tech classmate Wendy for coffee. We ended up at The Grind for three hours. Who knew I had that much to say? After updating Wendy on class goings-on, we just hung the fuck out. I didn’t have anything going on for the rest of the day and Wendy decided not to write her paper so we talked about school (she’s doing a masters program in forensic psychology), boys, roommates, bars, families, Chicago. She’s from Massachusetts, and is moving back when she graduates this summer. I’ll miss her.

Making promises to hang out again, and soon, I realized I was hungry. Yes, I spent three hours at a coffee shop and I forgot to eat. Oops. After a brief stop at Laurie’s Planet Of Sound (yay, Record Store Day!) I had a sandwich (at Potbelly, which was fine, but why didn’t I go to Costello’s?), and slowly made my way home. I would have been fine to spend another Saturday night with my laptop perched on my belly and Saturday Night Live on television except that Elisa texted me with an invitation to join her and Kelly at Big Star and who was I to say no?

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