"He's like Fat MacGyver."

I spent the evening of New Year’s Day back at Jeff and Nite’s, eating ice cream and watching a series of programs about super morbidly obese people.

On “Inside Brookhaven Obesity Clinic” a group of patients is split into good and bad when the bad were busted for hiding junk food, food ordered in from outside eateries. One of the hiding places was apparently inside the drop ceiling at the facility. I couldn’t help but express my admiration for the dude who did this, telling Kathy all about it at lunch today: “He’s like Fat MacGyver.”

Which made me think about how overeaters, or anyone with an eating disorder, can be crafty when it comes to the procurement, consumption, and elimination of food. Or think they can be crafty. I used to bring home McDonald’s to eat secretly in my room when I last lived with a roommate about two years ago. Faced with her parade of healthy meals, I’d come home from work, my two cheeseburger and fries meal stinking up the inside of my purse where I’d hidden it, as I’d go to my room to pretend to write or clean.

My fat is full of secrets and lies.

On a more uplifting note, Kathy and I had a very nice lunch at the CPK on North Avenue. This after trying to find parking near the the optometrist owned by the gentleman we refer to “Jorge’s Korean”. He has magical eyeglass lens-grinding abilities, producing impossibly thin lenses for even the strongest prescriptions. Alas, we found no parking so after a quick donation to the Salvation Army on Clybourn (Kathy had to get rid of some old clothes), it was off for lunch and much yang.

Kathy reported that Sylvia’s been saying “Why? Because f**k you, that’s why!” when confronted with stupid-ass questions. This is hilarious to me. Also hilarious is me getting all ranty and letting out some recent frustration, culminating in me yelling (at an imagined antagonist) “I wish you had some balls so I could punch you in them!”

Next time: inauguration plans, and hopefully something more interesting than what you just read. Oh, maybe I’ll finally blog about my naturalization swearing-in ceremony last month. If only so I don’t forget the day, as I totally failed to take pictures. Maybe I’ll stage a reenactment pageant when we celebrate Independence Day this year? In the meantime, please enjoy a photograph of some passports:

old and new passports

old and new passports

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Filed under food & drink, personal, television

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