As ever, times are Central because I totally am.
8:02: Five designers! Eight models! The designers get to pick new models. Leanne steals Tia from Suede – burn! – and Korto keeps Katerina. Kenley picked Joe’s old model Topacio. I’m thinking of changing my name to something exotic like Propeesha.
8:04: Designers head to the workroom, where Tim explains the challenge: they will be designing for each other. Suede has Jerell, Kenley will design for Leanne, Korto gets Suede, Jerell pulls Kenley, which leaves Leanne designing for Korto. They must each create a look inspired by a specific musical genre. Patrick IM’s that if this is not the best challenge of the season, and I finish with “it will be a waste”.
8:07: Oh shit, I missed which designers get which genre, though I’m pretty sure Kenley gets hip-hop.
8:08: Consults! I hear Suede say fishnet, and Korto ask him to take issues up with her before Tim comes in so she doesn’t have to snap on him. Leanne raps that she hopes Kenley doesn’t do something from 1950 from her. Lame rap, but I could not agre with the sentiment more. Patrick says: “leanne and kenley / are the whitest people ever / this will be hilarious.” There’s some scrap about Korto not being country, and now we are off to Mood.
8:10: Jerell promises/threatens to make Kenley a pop diva. Kenley picks un ugly floral print for her look, which will consist of a short leathah (Stella!) jacket, high-waisted denim trousers. Jesus take the wheel!
8:11: Back at the showroom, Korto explains what the word “jank” means. I wish she had conjugated, expanded to “janky” and then I would have had to text my friends to say “they said ‘janky’ on PR!”. Anyway, Korto’s country alter-ego is “Shania Jank”, while Leanne is “Lil J. Beige” — bwahahaha. Leanne is confident that her look for Korto will be country, but glam, like performing at the CMA’s. I feel it, so I’m looking forward to it.
8:15: I thought they’d be getting new designers every week for the Saturn challenge. This week we get a repeat of Kit’s totally adorable Kit-with-a-whip corset and pencil skirt. Lurve.
8:16: Jerell is eager for a three-peat, which would be a first in PR history. Jerell’s look if a fishnet mini with diamond cuffs. Kenley is nervous: “You are gonna make me look like sex!” I guess every girl is nervous the first time she gets turned out by a straight playa.
8:17: First hint we get that Suede could be auf’d — we learn more about his background! Apparently, he’s a classically trained musician. Oh, and Korto gives a shout-out to Jesus.
8:18: Patrick IM’s “jeffrey would have torn this shit up.” Truly. That would have been something. I still have visions of his final collection, so beautiful.
8:19: Kenley has her first fitting, and Jerell is confident that she’ll be pleased to see a new side of herself. It’s like Cher vs. Britney, and it’s obvious that she’s into it. Oh big surprise, Kenley’s into herself. Bwa.
8:20: Tim checks in!
- Jerell: Tim loves the silhouette, but Jerell is worried it needs more.
- Leanne: Tim asks if the look is too nuanced? Leanne doesn’t want to get too costumey. Tim advises her to watch it.
- Korto: Why doesn’t Korto want to go too punk? No cliches allowed, but what Tim wants to know if she can go further. Can she annihilate the top?
- Suede: His rock n’ roll look for Jerell doesn’t look wrapped up enough, and Suede could get away with anything. In the final five, those details totally matter, and everybody knows it.
- Kenley: Tim asks Kenley to explain, and her skinny dark denim aesthetic doesn’t sync with his idea, which is oversized. She of course takes his opinion as a slight to her, and now she’s getting all fussy and sarcastic. OMG, please Tim just send her for a timeout. Korto VO’s that Tim needs to be respected. True that.
8:26: So now I’m thinking, what does Kenley see when she envisions hip-hop? She says black leather jacket and denim, and I see Pharrell of N*E*R*D maybe. Lupe Fiasco? Where are the ladies? Who do any of them envision?
8:28: Leanne: “You’re grabbing my crotch, Kenley.” Kenley talking heads that she knows more about hip-hop than Tim. Maybe she should be worried about Leanne, who says she won’t hesitate to express her displeasure if she’s feeling that. Kenley is thinking Alicia Keys, who’s R&B — what about Lil’ Kim? Missy Elliot?
8:30: Korto does some sneaker and denim bleaching in the bathroom. None of the designers are pleased about the stench. Jerell admits to thinking about sabotaging Suede. Kenley won’t change her design, which she loves, and thinks it’s definitely hip-hop.
8:31: Leanne has a lot of work left on her look, but there’s only an hour left for them to do hair and makeup as well.
8:32: Patrick: “kenley talking about hip hop is like sarah palin talking about birth control.” And why is Suede not wanting to be so rock n’ roll? Leanne has bunching in the crotch. Jerell thinks Kenley is crazy for forcing Leanne into a “child-sized ‘hip-hop’ suit”. As do I.
8:33: Is it a bad sign that the designers music-inspired hair and makeup makes Tim laugh?
8:34: Kenley and Suede think they can win. As does Jerell. Leanne and Korto do not weigh in, though I’m most excited about theirs.
8:35: Patrick thinks that with LL Cool J as the guest judge, the challenge may be fixed.
8:40: Runway! Heidi comes out to talk to the judges, explaining that the designers are absent because they are models. And she is glad to ahve LL Cool J.
- Leanne for Korto (country): Korto’s figure looks lush, and she’s so cute.
- Jerell for Kenley (pop): She looks cute.
- Kenley for Leanne (hip-hop): Kenley actually says “She looks like a big fat poseur.”
- Korto for Suede (punk): Suede totally nails the attitude. Love it!
- Suede for Jerell (rock): Suede loves it, and I think I love it too. The texture on top is rough, edgy.
8:42: Designs have been scored, and so the designers come out to meet the judges and get their feedback. Kenley panics when she sees that the judge is LL, but not so much that she can’t bitch about Leanne.
8:43: LL likes the energy of Korto’s punk look, while Nina thinks he looks like Marilyn Manson. Also loves the treatment. Michael loves that the silhouette is still flattering. Suede explained that the rock look had to be comfortable. Jerell thought he’d get more Aerosmith, but loves the vest and the palette. Michael thinks the pants are expected, though Suede thinks their subtlety are key. LL and Nina wished there was, well, more drama. Nina nails it: Jerell still looks like Jerell.
Moving onto Jerell’s look for pop princess Kenley, the sexiness has to be central. Nina loved it, though Heidi thinks the boobs should have been more supported. LL thinks it’s great, as does Michael. Kenley explains her hip-hop look as being an expensive take. Heidi and LL do not dig the pants, and LL doesn’t see the hip-hop connection. Michael also mentions that the look is not luxury. When Kenley huffs, Michael says she wasn’t the only person who had challenges. I missed Leanne’s expo on the country look. Nina loves the color of the blouse, but wishes there was more glamor. Heidi loved the shape of the skirt. LL’s not sure he totally get the country bit, and Michael wishes Leanne could have turned it up.
8:49: Judges love Jerell’s pop and Korto’s punk. Meanwhile, Suede played it safe so Jerell had no transformation. Kenley’s outfit was nothing more than a mall-bought confection with really awful mom jeans. Leanne’s look was a little too quiet, with Michael describing it as a woman out to eat ribs. What?
8:51: “One of you will be out.” Oh but whooooo?
8:55: For this week’s PR poll, 88% of the takers felt that Kenley was disrespectful to Tim.
8:56: The winner is… Korto! Yay! Korto leaves and takes a well-deserved seat backstage. Jerell is safe, and joins Korto. Leanne is in, leaving Suede and Kenley on the runway. Suede is there because he played it safe. Kenley is there because she missed the attitude of hip-hop completely. But Kenley lives to snark and roll her eyes another day, and so Suede leaves. He thanks the judges and kisses Heidi goodbye, promising to rock it. Top five is still pretty good, though I have to confess I wish he could have squeaked past Kenley because, well, it’s Kenley.