All times CT.
8:00: What’s up? I still think Kenley’s super annoying! How about you?
8:01: Suede’s gotta prove himself. Kenley doesn’t get why she was in the bottom in the last challenge. She’s gonna stick to her strategy, which is to stay true to herself and ignore the judges’ criticism. Read: keep turning out her tired 50’s-esque costumery.
8:02: Runway! The models, who are some regular-looking ladies, come out on the runway. They may be somebody’s mothers, but not the designers’. So who are they? Not the clients, but the mothers of their clients, twenty-something White girl recent college graduates, brought in by their moms for makeovers into grown-up working ladies.
8:04: Patrick is upset that they are not hot. The designers get randomly matched to models by the Bag o’ Buttons, and then proceed to the workroom to get details from Tim.
8:05: Uncle Tim! He sends the clients in with their models, warning that the mothers are sure to have strong opinions. So really, they have two clients, 30 minutes to consult, and $100 to spend at Mood. Joe is concerned about the mother-daughter dynamic where if mom likes, daughter won’t.
8:06: Anna sucks up to Kenley, and the feeling is mutual. They’re mutually cute and annoying. This is going to be awesome. Anna’s mom thinks they’re both adorable.
8:07: Korto’s clients mom has no good feedback. Jerrell’s client is Caitlin, a designer as well (art as opposed to fashion) and tall and lanky. She’s into androgynous, so Jerrell dreams up a pencil skirt topped by a man-inspired cardigan. Lanky and awkward but sexy? Hmm.
8:08: Leanne has Holly, a teacher, and Holly’s mom is all about a dress while Holly is a bit more laidback. Suede has Avital, a photographer who needs to look professional while hauling around a lot of photo stuff. She’d like pants, but Suede isn’t feeling it.
8:09: Joe dreams up a skirt suit for client Laura, who is on the job market and wants something appropriate for interviews. Time is up before they know it, and the mother/daughter teams depart, leaving the designers to hit Mood.
8:10: Since Stella’s gone, Korto’s the queen of “leathuh” now. She grabs that and a burlapy cotton. Suede is looking for a crazy print, as Avital is open to all colors. Time is up, and the designers depart, saying goodbye to Swatch, the Mood dog. Wait, what? There’s a puppy at Mood? He looks like a bulldog, or a Boston terrier. He’s totally fucking adorable. I wantz a fashion doggy!
8:11: Patrick thinks Anna’s mother looks like Sloth from “The Goonies”. We see pictures of Leanne and Joe from around their first jobs, so immediately I worry that Leanne and Joe are in trouble. Also, Kenley talking about all her obstacles and shit. Oh she has suffered, more than anyone at PR, what with her leaving Florida on her own and moving to New York with no money to be a designer. Blah blah blah.
8:17: Already I am worried about Korto’s jacket and dress not meshing, but then again so is she so I’m sure she’ll figure her shit out.
8:18: Clients and moms enter for fitting. Caitlin loves Jerrell’s ruffly top with a high-waisted pencil skirt. Avital wants Suede to make the outfit look fun, a little crazy though Suede is worried about her looking cheap and losing his vision to the client’s needs.
8:19: Laura doesn’t like the pinstripe that Joe picked out. Joe and Laura’s mom think she’ll look sharp, so Laura acquiesces (yeah, I just wanted to throw that it). Jerrell: “Kenley. She can make one hell of a sixties dress. And that’s all. That’s all she serves up.” Ya burnt! Holly’s mom thinks Leanne’s dress makes Holly looked flat-chested. Jerrell thinks that Holly’s mom is totes the Hedda Lettuce (read: bee-yotch) of this particular challenge.
8:21: Joe gets ribbed, and rightly so, for his suit which is turning into an eighties nightmare. That’s according to Kenley, who must weigh in while she’s not patting herself on her shoulder. Jerrell joins in, asking Kenley for a pocket square while Joe chafes, ever so slightly.
8:26: The clients are back for a second fitting, this time without their mothers, and they are happy with the changes made by the designers. Also, we meet Jeanie Syfu, the new head stylist for Tre Semme/PR, and she’s got some good news: the winning look will appear in Elle magazine. Wooty woot! Jeanie consults with the clients and designers on how to tweak their hairdos for the makeover.
8:29: Tim consults!
- Suede: Pockets are crooked.
- Joe: The look is too corporate, banker. Joe hadn’t paid too much attention to the field of his client.
- Jerrell: Watch the excess fabric in the blouse.
- Kenley: Without the belt the look is too masculine. Also, the tulle could be the same length as the dress and still be adorable. Of course, Kenley’s all “He doesn’t understand me as a designer.” And of course she won’t change anything for Tim.
8:31: Joe and Korto talk daughters. Korto has a four year old who’s already into fashion. And their are pics — OMG so cute! Joe is missing his girls, so he calls home. Aw. “I miss you more!” And if I wasn’t weeping already, Joe says he’s on the show to prove to his daughters that their dreams are not bigger than they are, not impossible.
8:33: The ladies talk trash about Suede. Kenley thinks he’s a poser, and can’t interpret his aesthetic into different looks. Okay, bitchy, but is she right? Yeah.
8:34: It’s day 3! Clients come in to get dressed. I like how Anna is really just a miniature Kenley. Actually, I don’t, but it’s like Mini-Me. She even has a wacky hair doodad.
8:35: Ten minutes! And again, Kenley isn’t even remotely impressed with anybody else’s look but her own.
8:40: Oh, the Saturn challenge designer is Allison Kelly, lisp and all. Her outfit has a lot of “sthoul”. She’s so cute, I bet she poops cotton candy. Too soon?
8:45: Okay, I’m a few minutes behind because Patrick wondered about our cell phone bill and I had to check the AT&T web site. Guest judge is Cynthia Rowley.
8:46: Runway! Joe loves his suit while the mom cries with pride. Ooh, I don’t love Holly’s look — that jacket is weirdly boxy. Caitlin looks beautiful in Jerrell’s look, and nobody is more pleased than him. Korto believes that she’s fused the jacket and the dress to reflect her client’s maturity. Avital has crazy arms, and Suede’s dress shows them off. Anna really is a Kenley mini-me.
8:48: Designers hit the runway, where they explain the looks.
- Kenley thinks her look is fresh, while Heidi call her on the mini-me. Nina thinks it’s cute. Cynthia thinks it’s a little fairy stale. Michael says it’s the right dress for the job.
- Joe thinks he succeeded in making a professional. Cynthia thinks it’s interesting that the only professional look he could think of was a suit. Of course, Kenley and Anna cackle during his critique.
- Korto’s look is current, according to Michael, and everybody loves it. Young and professional.
- Judges love the dress without the boxy jacket. Also, why couldn’t she have gotten something more comfortable to work with young children?
- Heidi thinks Caitlin looks great in Jerrell’s androgynous, and Cynthia loves that the outfit is perfect for her body type. Nina and Michael could not agree more, but the most important endorsement was from Caitlin, who felt pretty and comfortable working with Jerrell.
- Nobody likes Suede’s outfit.
8:55: Judges liked Jerrell (total transformation), Kenley (she makes the retro work), and Korto (perfectly tailored jacket). They had problems with Suede (shockingly ugly jacket, client looked older but from another decade), Leanne (nothing fresh), and Joe (out of touch, looked badly done). Joe’s outfit could have been a costume for a Working Girl party. I’m assuming they meant the eighties movie starring Melanie Griffith and not a party for hookers.
8:57: Korto is in! The winner is… Jerell! I know I change the spelling of his name a bunch, but leave me alone. Yay! That’s two wins in a row! “And the fact that it’s my second win? Hell yeah!” Kenley is also safe, so she leaves the runway. She’s followed by Leanne, so our bottoms are Suede and Joe. Joe because he took a beautiful girl and aged her. His look was drab, cliche. Suede’s design was outdated, overworked, and completely impractical. Joe gets an out (aw), and so Suede can safely leave the runway. Joe says goodbye and quickly.
8:58: Joe doesn’t feel like he deserve what his daughter calls his “outsy daisy”, but he leaves on a good note, having proven to his daughters that you can follows your dreams, and to not let anybody stop you. Aw.