Hola, amigos. What’s your deal? I know it’s been a long time since I rapped at ya, but there’s been all sorts of mess going on in my life.
(Jim Anchower, The Onion)
I was going to send you, like, this epically long flip front about what I’ve been up to for the last five months. It was going to have pictures and funny quotes and all these deep meaningful epiphanies and shit. Which would have been perfect because, you see, today is the flip front’s 7th birthday or anniversary or whatever. Right?
But I got sad for a while, and then I was angry because I wasn’t writing, and then I got lazy and then I didn’t care. Winter turned to spring, and spring almost immediately became summer because you know that spring in Chicago is a myth. And now it’s July. I live by myself in Lakeview, having been ejected from that lovely Bucktown apartment which is now a condo. I have a new laptop, a new favorite pair of shoes, and a new favorite lip gloss (Revlon Super Lustrous Lipgloss in ‘Cherries in the Glow’). I went to L.A. to visit Celi, Amanda, Nate, and Christina W. — also to spend my 31st birthday at the happiest place on Earth. I had a bunch of people visit. I went to a funeral, painted a school, and saw some guy who may or may not have been famous. I saw ‘Labyrinth’ — yes the movie with David Bowie, who should have been outfitted with a jockstrap.
But who cares about all this shit when the last Harry Potter movie is coming out tonight? I mean, do you really want to know what I’ve been up to for the last five months when a major cultural minute has caught the world (and all its available media outlets) in a death-grip the likes of which we have not seen since Britney shaved her head, or the two times Paris Hilton was sent to and then released from jail?
I mean, really.
But seriously. The flip front will resume its normally scheduled programming sometime soon, once I’ve figured out a way to properly document the last five months of my life without boring you to tears, and so I don’t forget the period when it comes time to write my memoirs, which will be entitled Some of My Best Friends are White. Or maybe License to Kim Jong-il.
Harry and the Potters – This Book Is So Awesome; Olivia Newton-John – Suddenly; The Black Keys – Meet Me In The City (I could listen to this every day for the rest of my life); Spoon – ‘Get Nice’ EP
- Alcove in Silver Lake
- sippy cups
- The Diana Chronicles
- “the revotionary costume of today”
- baby names for someone who doesn’t want to have children
- “James Watson Gone Wild!”
- little red-headed boys
- the guy in the chain-mail shirt