312: I caught you a delicious bass.

I’ve been thinking of ways to raise money. So far, the only thing I’ve come up with is the “Get Rid of (Your) Bush” Wax-A-Thon, where I’d get a local salon to donate their bikini waxing proceeds to the Kerry-Edwards campaign.

I saw Linara Washington again, this time in a Secret anti-perspirant commercial. She did the voiceover and was dancing while surreptitiously sniffing her armpit.

notes on “Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle”:

1. H&K’s their neighbors have a naked lady mezuzah!

2. Princeton is just like the U of C, but with cuter girls.

3. Sometimes Mountain Dew isn’t extreme enough.

4. “Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle” is the greatest movie ever.

And I know it’s about a week late and way too short, but this flip front has to end here so I can go get some sleep before Jacinda & Joe’s wedding tomorrow. I’ve drank more alcohol in the last two days than I have this entire summer, and I’m bloated like you wouldn’t believe.

So yes, in case you were wondering, Jacinda’s bachelorette party was last night. It was super fun, and we crashed the bachelor party. A few thoughts for you to stew on until I write a full recap next week:

1. If you ask your waiter at Cafe Iberico to make your platano al caramelo (sauteed banana with ice cream and caramel) ‘suggestive’, it will come out looking like a penis. And yeah, I’ve got the pictures to prove it.

2. The shiny stuff on the nipples of the dancers at V.I.P.’s is latex. So they’re not topless technically, but they’re pretty damn close.

3. Lourdes, who did my nails Thursday night, has a lot to say about Zenecal. Maybe a little too much.

4. Andrew gives a better lapdance than you would expect. He can be reached at 1-900-JEW-STUD.

Love,
Jasmine

“I know you hate being ugly, but someone has to make everybody else look good.” (Chicken)

*movies* (today’s theme: doomed girls)

Smooth Talk; Foxes; Thirteen

*songs*

LL Cool J – Doin’ It; Rolling Stones – Miss You; Little Esther – So Good; Wham – Everything She Wants; Sam Phillips – All Night

*links*

http://www.nea.gov/national/homecoming/

http://www.whitehousewest.com

http://www.shutitdownnyc.com

http://www.2jane.com/wallpaper.htm

http://www.hottigotti.com

http://usedwigs.com/respect.html

http://www.collectors.olympic.org/e/fimo/fimo_mascots_e.html

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