250: krispy kremaster

Before we begin, a rundown of what makeup I’m wearing today:

  • NARS blush in “Deep Throat” (sheer pink with slight shimmer)
  • MAC Lip Glass in “Pink Poodle” (sheer bubble gum pink – it’s so ‘Beach Blanket Bingo’)

1. “I’m gonna have the yellowtail because, well, I have a yellow tail.” (5/24/03)

About a month ago, I had this delusions of spending a day at the spa with some of my favorite girls. Of course, the day in question was the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend when a lot of folks were out of town or attending a series of barbecues. But I managed to get Kathy up to my neighborhood for sushi at Nohana ($1/piece from 12pm to 1pm everyday!). I don’t go as much as I should, so it was nice to start the weekend with a nice lunch with a good pal. Kathy filled me in on her being sworn in to the Illinois bar, a formal ceremony which her mother documented with several cameras. I worked on my lunch:

  • unagi
  • maguro
  • hamachi (yellowtail for my yellow tail – bwa ha ha ha)

After lunch, Kathy and I went for milkshakes and were on our way to get our pedicures when Kathy spotted her friend Ray, who I had always heard so much about from her and Jorge. Ray has the longest eyelashes I’ve ever seen. He’s finishing up a Ph.D in art history at the U of C, and will be teaching at the University of New Mexico in the fall. He spoke animatedly and I found myself wanting to sign up for every single class and conference he planned on giving once he got to UNM. When he started talking about the research trips to Ecuador, Peru, and Spain, I just about fainted. I need to find a new line of work. Something that demands travel and interacting with cool people. Oh, and shopping. I used to think I’d do well hosting that “Wild On…” show on E!, but I don’t fulfill the prerequisites for the job:

  1. modeling for Frederick’s of Hollywood
  2. appearing on Baywatch or any of its affiliated spin-offs
  3. breast implants

So after leaving Ray to continue work on his dissertation (he’s defending in July), Kathy and I walked to her car so she could put in some quarters, then back to Nail Tek for our pedicures. Nail Tek was packed, so Kathy and I picked out our polishes and waited. Again, I spent the duration of my pedicure reading a back issue Seventeen magazine and avoiding the mirrored wall opposite me. When I sit, my fat tends to roll up so I look like Michelin Man in a skirt so the less I look the better we all feel.

2. stamina and the single girl (5/24/03)

Sarah had her birthday dinner at home, a lovely house in Old Irving Park. She even has a yard with a swing and a bird fountain and a deck. I didn’t know where to put my cigarette butt when I finished so I put it out in a pool of water and flushed it down the toilet.

While “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” played silently on the television, we sat down to this delicious orange-carrot soup, mesclun greens, salmon, and not one but two desserts! Sarah gave us prizes if we told funny stories, and I tried but I don’t think I was as successful as Jan talking about how these girls tried to beat up both her and her mom at a skating rink. Or Jenny’s mom complimenting the Dublin police force for not beating demonstrators. I guess my story should have been more mom-centric, but my mother is such a random woman, there’s no one great story about her, just lots of weird little episodes in the life our mother-daughter relationship. Lots of crying jags that turn into fits of hysterical laughter. Lots of random phone messages advising me to stop eating so much and go to church. Lots of hours spent window-shopping for the perfect handbag.

I guess I am my mother’s daughter after all.

PS: If you see Sarah, ask her about her dream about John Mayer. Bwa ha ha ha ha.

3. andrew reloaded (5/25/03)

Andrew and I went to see “The Matrix: Reloaded”, then hung out at Dan’s. I had exactly one vodka-and-cranberry, and for this Jacinda and I got all giggly. I made all these jokes about how a perfect promotional tie-in for “Cremaster 3” (http://www.cremaster.net/crem3.htm) would be “Krispy Kremaster” doughnuts from where else? Krispy Kreme doughnuts.Imagine doughnuts in the shape of yer cremaster muscle. Cool huh?

After the barbecue, we all went to the L & L for cheap beer. Andrew had to be dragged away from the semi-pornographic electronic blackjack game. Ew.

4. red meat (5/26/03)

Wy didn’t anyone tell me? Why didn’t anyone tell me that if you give the people at Fogo de Chao $25, they’ll feed you as much meat as you want? And these delicious cheese popovers that made me want to do weird things like smooch every waiter in pantaloons that came over to the table? The salad bar has mozarella balls the size of a golf ball, and slices of prosciutto that taste like salt should taste. I ate a lot but not too much. The point was not to fill my oversized stomach until I felt ready to burst. Shit, I had stuff to do.

I had to go help Maria buy some cosmetics.

5. how do you solve a problem like maria? (5/26/03)

Maria is not a problem. I adore her. She is my pal. She’s girlifying her act a wee bit – a few weeks ago, I actually saw her buy jeans that fit her and weren’t three sizes too big. So it was only natural that after lunch, and after Andrew and Rozi went to Marshall Field’s to find a handbag, that Maria and I play with the makeup at Nordstrom before seeking out the more casual, more comfortable vibe at Sephora.

She picked out a cool-ass Philosphy palette and some lovely Stila lip gloss. I was so proud. We shopped for groceries at Whole Foods then headed back to her house so she could cook dinner and I could go play the role of roving correspondent for Giant Robot magazine.

6. chopsticks (5/26/03)

So there’s this compilation CD called “Japan for Sale Volume 3” and Sony Japan was touring Polysics around the US to celebrate its release. Actually, they played three shows, one of which was in Chicago at the Double Door. It was sparsely attended, but the crowd seemed enthused. My assumption of the “correspondent for Giant Robot magazine” role was compromised when the Sony chick who organized the tour gave me the all-important job of . . . handing out plates and chopsticks to guests as they approached the buffet in the VIP section. Did Cameron Crowe have to do this when he was a 15 year old reporter on assignment for Rolling Stone? If I’ve learned anything from repeated viewings of “Almost Famous” I would say no.

Oh well.

Those of y’all who didn’t show and said you would missed free sushi, drink tickets, and goodie bags. Also, you now lack my love. Boo! Michael, Kevin, Foster, and Michael’s friend Thom attended. They are now my favorite people ever.

I worked most of the night, so I didn’t get a goodie bag. At least, not right then. A couple of days ago, another Sony employee in LA sent me a huge box with a ‘Japan for Sale’ poster, the CD, a sampler of the Polysics, a poseable action figure of the sumo wrestler featured on the cover of the ‘Japan for Sale’ CD, and a poseable action figure of Jack Osbourne, complete with his pitbull, Lola.

Ooh, I do love freebies.


“A song and a snack can turn any moment into an occasion.”

PS: I saw ‘Cremaster 3’. It was provocative, but essentially silly.

saw the new Chen Kaige film, ‘Together’. Oh, it was lovely. I sobbed like a little baby. So go see it when it opens in your town.

Weezer – Smile; Big Star – Thirteen; Spain – Nobody Has To Know; Rufus Wainwright – One Man Guy (I’m beginning to think I listen to this song too much); Whiskeytown – Crazy About You



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