14: boys worth having

Hello all,

I know you must be thinking “two ‘flip fronts’ in one week? this is an embarrassment of riches!” But hey, it isn’t always Friday the 13th, so in observance of this holiday, I thought you’d like some of my incoherent ramblings to get your weekend off to a healthy start.

Which member of N’Sync is your soulmate? I took the quiz on ecrush.com, and was delighted to learn that Lance Bass, the Christian virgin-type from Mississippi, is my soulmate. I’m so excited because I think the quiz was right! We are alike in every way:

  1. His dream in life is to open a Krispy Kreme. That’s my dream, too!
  2. He’s never been in a real relationship. Me too! All I’ve had are a few miserable hookups and a few truly lousy dates!
  3. One of his favorite movies is Clue! I hate the movie, but I’m friends with somebody (Seema) who counts it among her favorites! That is so close enough!

So who cares if Lance is a Baptist? He is totally my type — the non-threatening pretty boy. He’s the only one for me, as Justin has strange nostrils, Chris’ hair is *always* fucked up, JC’s voice is whiny, and Joey, fuck, I don’t know what his problem is. So that leaves me with Lance, who isn’t quite ready for the “boys worth having” list, if only because I haven’t actually met him yet.

Celi & Seema have been maintaining the “boys worth having” list since first year when they started going over their male friends and acquaintances to see if they were worthy of romantic involvement. Being on the boys worth having list basically means that you rock, and you rock hard. Of course, this includes but is not limited to, my close friends. Some of you who are reading this are even on it, and may not even know it. If you want to know if you are on it, e-mail me and I’ll consult with the other two.

Emily C. used to contribute to the list, but then she fell off the earth, so I try not to think about her too much. There were other lists, like “boys worth having in five years”, “boys worth having if we could change one thing about their personalities”, etc. The lists were always good for girly discussions about boys we fancied from afar and would only see in math, or in the dining hall.

I’m glad the list still exists because it’s a record of one’s crushes, and I’m a big fan of crushes. I don’t diet — I crush. I’m perfectly happy to daydream about somebody weeks, months, years, because it is way easier to do that than to actually screw up the courage and actually ask them out. Besides, what if they end up sucking? Then the dream is gone.

And it’s important to have a dream.

I’ve had a great week at home, enjoying my new coffee table from Target and watching as much tv as I want. No longer must I suffer through the boring shit that Old Girl liked to watch. The only thing we agreed on was “Buffy The Vampire Slayer”. Otherwise, we’d have a duel, engaging in passive-aggressive conversation until one or the both of us was dissatisfied enough to actually leave the room. I usually won, if only because I was usually holding the remote control. I credit my victories to being a middle child for ten years of my life — it’s always the middle child who has to come out of their older sibling’s shadow, and make the baby seem less interesting. I was the baby until my younger brother was born 5 years after I was, and it wasn’t all that great. I got my older sister’s hand-me-downs, and my accomplishments were always measured against hers.

My older sister is something of a “free spirit” and seems committed to being a groupie for any Britpop band that comes through the New York tri-state area. The youngest are twins, and twins are always interesting to other folks, even if they aren’t conjoined. I have a younger brother who is more of a middle child than me, and seems to have inherited a lot of my neuroses and interests. Fighting with them has made me, if not a good roommate, than a crafty one. So you see, like Marlon Brando said, Filipinos are wily. It’s true!

I had Chris over for beer a few nights ago. If you remember my last note, then you know that Chris is the guy I used to be friends with until he got all weird on me. Well, he’s one bio class away from graduating. I would update you on his activities over the past year, but I don’t think state and federal law would allow it. I don’t mean to be cryptic, especially since I love to dish, but I think it would be in my best interest to leave discussion of this topic to the FBI and other licensed law enforcement professionals.

It’s Friday the 13th, and I’ll be housesitting this weekend. If any of you need to reach me, you can always e-mail or call me on my cell (773.XXX.XXXX). Happy birthday, Michael — I’ll be bringin’ the ingredients for a sloe gin fizz. Let me know if I should bring any music — Basement Jaxx? Groove Armada? Petula Clark?


I’ve never been this drunk before. The problem is, with Fred no longer drinking, I can’t pace myself.


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